On March 15, 2006 my husband Jack and I found out that we were expecting.
On March 15, 2006 my husband Jack and I found out that we were expecting. After two years of trying we were lucky enough to conceive on our first round of IVF. We were ecstatic. My pregancy was pretty normal. I had no morning sickness and I felt great. I wouldn't have cared if I was miserable. I was just happy to be expecting a baby, and as long as he was healthy I would deal with any discomfort for myself.
Our life changed on Aug. 25 and will never be the same ever again. I hadn't felt our son move in a 24 hour period. I met my obgyn at the hospital and was put on the fetal heart monitor. Our son was moving all around but I couldn't feel a thing. An ultrasound showed that I had lost alot of amniotic fluid and what was left appeared to be contaminated. The baby appeared to be 3 weeks behind with his growth. After I was put on a mag drip and given a shot of steroids for the baby's lungs I was airlifted to a nearby hospital with a N.I.C.U.
I was informed that I had HELLP Syndrome and that my baby would have to be delivered a.s.a.p. I had an emergency c-section and our son Landon John Luis was born at 8:57 p.m. He weighed 1 lb. 4.7 ozs. and was 11 1/2 inches long. All of the doctors were optimistic. Our son appeared to be doing quite well. After numerous blood transfusions and platelets I was doing better myself. At this time I had no idea how sick and close to death I had been. My concern was for Landon. I was able to visit him in the N.I.C.U. twenty four hours after he was born. He was perfect. He looked just like his daddy but had my nose. He was so tiny and fragile. I went to bed that night thinking about how I wished we lived closer to the hospital. I was going to want to be there with my son as much as possible until we were able to bring him home.
We were called to the N.I.C.U. first thing the morning of Aug. 27. We were informed that during the night he had taken a turn for the worse. His color was gray and they doctors informed us that he was critical. A local priest came and baptized our son. Doctors informed us that he had a pulmonary hemmorage. With our families by our side my husband and I watched the doctors try to do everything that they could. Our precious son Landon died shortly after that in my arms.
Its has been a rough road for both my husband and myself. I live with the thought everyday that my son was born to save my life. I feel so much guilt. As a parent you are supposed to protect your children and we were unable to do that. I cry everyday. I stare at his pictures and spend alot of time in his room. We miss him. Our dear son Landon is now an angel. He was born a perfect soul. I know that one day we will meet again. Until then I hope that he knows how much he is loved. He is in heaven watching over us. His birth and his death have changed us forever. We will never be the people that we were before we had our son. Now we are parents of an Angel.
After surviving a very traumatic first pregnancy with a nightmare delivery (30 hours of magnesium-induced hell, ending in an emergency c-section) and even more debilitating recovery, one would think I was DONE having children. Let's be ...