by Norinda (3 Posts), Wed Dec 19, 2012 12:13 am
In case you missed it, the latest email from this site contains a story about a mother who develops pre-e, delivers her daughter prematurely, but whose health steadily declines until she sadly passes away several weeks later. It's a very sad story, and it's extremely close to my heart, having lost my own sister to pre-e and HELLP syndrome about seven months ago, just hours after she started feeling ill and an emergency c-section at 33 weeks saved the life of her daughter.
Where I took issue is a photo of the woman's baby daughter. A chubby, cute, thriving little baby and underneath her, a caption that says, "When I wish... I wish for my mommy's arms to hold me." And right next to it, a big old red button that says DONATE. I'm not sure how to put into words how that made me feel. I mean, hey, babies can't talk, and it seems incredibly emotionally manipulative to put words in that little girl's mouth for the sake of donation shilling.
Maybe I am mistaken, but I feel like I am probably the dream demographic for such a fundraiser. I mean, who could possibly understand the pain of that family and the need for education better than my own, having lived through it ourselves? I always find the newsletters kind of bittersweet and tough to read, but I read them anyway because I CARE. I UNDERSTAND the need for education on this topic. But I really feel like someone stepped a toe over the line with this baby caption. It felt like you were capitalizing on the trauma of families like mine, and I felt betrayed, since I felt like this was a place I could go to for grief support if I ever wanted it. I'm sure anyone reading here in the grief board knows that the holidays are a special kind of misery when you lose someone who was very dear to you. Even expecting this, I have been shocked a lot of the time at just how flattened I feel most days this December, and well, I didn't need this, and probably neither did anyone else on your list who suffered a similar loss.
I hope that this org really takes the time to hear what I'm saying, and appreciate how their attempt at finding a donor actually served to alienate someone who needed them most, and adjusts their fundraising strategies appropriately. If nothing else, know that I am never very likely to send money when someone makes me feel depressed and full of grief about things - I prefer to donate in hope.