New member of this sad club

A place for those bereaved to receive and offer support
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julie f
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Re : New member of this sad club

Postby julie f » Sun Jul 16, 2006 01:28 am


I am so very sorry for the loss of your daughter. To welcome new members into this Forum breaks all of our hearts each time...

In two weeks it will be three years since I lost my son. Does it get easier ... You will find that there will come a day that you make it through without crying, then maybe two, then maybe a week. You'll find that you've had a "good" day. As time goes, the good days will start to come more often than the bad. Somewhere in there, you begin to look ahead and you find hope in the future. So I guess yes, it gets easier - I am able to manage my life and my grief. I carry my grief with me everyday but it no longer consumes me, it no longer shadows every choice I make. My life will never be the same and my idea of "normal" is completely different than what it was before I buried my child, but it does go on. I'm am definitely not the same person, I hope I am a better one though.

Does it ever make sense - for me no. I have stopped asking the why, I can't imagine a good enough reason.

I just saw that you're in LA, I'm in Southern CA as well, I am going to email you.

Again, I am so very sorry.

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Re : New member of this sad club

Postby hmoore » Wed Jul 12, 2006 06:44 pm

I am so sorry to about your loss. Reading your post it took me back to when I lost my son my story sounds a lot like yours. Just know that it does get better, the pain never goes away but it does ease with time. I am glad that you found this forum and I am sure that you will find that talking to us makes you feel better at least I hope it does. Again I am so sorry!

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Re : New member of this sad club

Postby amillhouse » Wed Jul 12, 2006 03:59 pm

Sara, I am very sorry for your loss and want you to know that there is tremendous support on this forum - I have been a recipient of it as well. I also went to Compassionate Friends for awhile and to a grief counsellor - it really does help to get support and I applaud you for planning to go. All the best to you as you begin the healing journey. . .

heather h
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Re : New member of this sad club

Postby heather h » Wed Jul 12, 2006 11:12 am


I'm so so sorry for your loss of your little girl... Please know you're in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you can find a better OB that's more understanding and sympathetic. I'm glad you're in touch with Compassionate Friends. My husband and I went to a support group too after we lost our son and it was very helpful to be able to talk to others who've gone through a loss of a baby. Every year we go to a memorial too that they do dedicated to the babies that were lost. It's beautiful and I find alot of peace in comfort in that.
Come here any time - the women here are very supportive and understanding.


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Re : New member of this sad club

Postby sreeve » Tue Jul 11, 2006 09:49 pm

Thank you to everyone for your words of comfort and support. It means so much to know that so many other people have gone through this and survived. Sometimes it hurts so much that I think I can't possibly go on, but seeing your posts, and knowing that you've all been through the same grief, somehow gives me strength.

Right now, it doesn't help that my OB seems more concerned with deflecting blame and avoiding a lawsuit than offering comfort or support. I have my follow up visit tomorrow, and I'm just hoping to get through the follow up, and then switch to a more under understanding OB and/or peri. I've also been in touch with Compassionate Friends here in LA, and plan to attend their fetal & infant loss group next month. But being able to come here at any time over the last few days has been an incredible lifeline. Thank you much.

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Re : New member of this sad club

Postby froggie89 » Tue Jul 11, 2006 08:29 pm

Sara, I'm sorry for the loss of your little girl. I'm sorry that you are joining our little group, but glad that you have found us at the same time. Please come here to vent, cry, yell or whatever you need. The grief process is full of so many emotions, good days and bad ones. Unfortunaltey, I'm going through the process again.

The ladies here are wonderful and caring. They have helped me alot over the past year. We're here for you when you need it. Please take care and know you're surrounded by ladies who truly understand what you're going through. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Sending many hugs to you.

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Re : New member of this sad club

Postby michellelhuston » Tue Jul 11, 2006 04:28 pm

Hi Sara,

I am really sorry to hear about the loss of little Eliza! I know that this is a really hard thing to go through because is comes on so quickly and then you step back a moment and try to process what happend but it all seems so unreal. You will be happy to know that time will ease your pain! We may never really know why this happened to us, to our innocent little ones, but there is one! Nothing will ever take her place! You are always going to be here mommy! Please lean on us whenever you need to! We are always here for you!

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Re : New member of this sad club

Postby fnaz » Tue Jul 11, 2006 03:57 pm

I am so sorry for you and your family.I am so sad that PE has affected another family.
Many of us have gone through such a difficult period and i know not a single word will lessen your pain..
Sending you lots of hugs..

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Re : New member of this sad club

Postby mrs.magdaleno » Tue Jul 11, 2006 01:54 pm

Welcome, Sara. I want to let you know that you will never ever be the same again. You were touched by a special little angel and the loss of her is something that will never go away. My heart goes out to you. I don't like to call myself religous but I am a spiritual person and I do believe that things like this happen to us to teach us something. It is up to us to find the positive out of the negative. Do we want our child's memory to be one of sadness and grief or do we want to do something good in honor of our sweet angels. It will take time to get to that point. I lost my son last October and it is amazing how fast time is going by. I can't believe it has been 9 months already. Take your time, grief is a process that only you can go through, everyone is different. My dh handles things more privately whereas I tend to talk about my feelings with others. We respect each others wishes. Please know that you will always have someone here to vent to. You are in my thoughts.

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Re : New member of this sad club

Postby shellysmomdad » Tue Jul 11, 2006 11:48 am

It is with sadness that we welcome you to this group. You will quickly learn that you have found the best place here for comfort and support. The loss of a newborn or loved one creates a wound that never heals. We never completely get over it, we just learn to cope with it. We wish you the best in strength and comfort during this difficult time.

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