New Loss

A place for those bereaved to receive and offer support

New Loss

Postby S.Jordan444 » Sat Oct 22, 2011 06:58 pm

Hello My name is Scottie from brooklyn N.Y i am new to the forum,

My wife and I have a 3 yr old daughter she was born healthy at 35 weeks and 3 days. We just recently loss our second child on Oct 4, 2011 he was also 35 weeks and 3 days but we where not as lucky. Our lives have been torn My son Scottie Jordan Cartagena was very much anticipated we had no signs or warnings. his room is painted and decorated for him we had a baby shower. im so broken over this lost i dont know how to feel or what to think and the "keep strongs" i have enough to last a lifetime. My daughter still ask for her lil brother she couldnt wait for him and we thought my wife was in labor so we told our daughter layla that we would be bringing him home. i told layla her brother chose to become an angel to watch over us she didnt really like that and she cried but shes getting better... We had a service for him on Oct 9th 2011 we actually got to hold him and see him in the hospital after my wife woke up from recovery we excited on our way to the hospital she was having mild contractions as if everything was ok. my wife only has any blood pressure issues when shes pregnant we want to have more children and have been advised to wait atleast a year. im 31 yrs old and my wife is 26 we just want our Son back...

will we ever be happy again im lost i took 3 weeks off from work and im back now but im misrable.

In The Arms Of The Angels...Scottie Jordan Cartagena Oct 4,2011 4 pounds 4 ounces :(444):
Last edited by S.Jordan444 on Tue Oct 25, 2011 12:07 am, edited 2 times in total.
This Video Is About Our Prince Scottie Jordan Cartagena & Hopefully A Step In The Right Direction On Edcucation Of Preeclampsia. Copy & paste the link let us know what you think.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aR3mVf_yNXk
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Re: New Loss

Postby holly3372@msn.com » Mon Oct 24, 2011 08:47 pm

Hello, I am so sorry for the loss of your son. I know to go through this is so shocking and horrible. My husband and I lost our only son last year from preeclampsia. It was and is devastating. Please honor your feelings,no one truly understands unless they have gone through this. People will say things and for the most part they mean well,but again they do not understand. People told us to be strong.let it go,get over it that we could try again on and on. The truth is you never"get over it' he was and will always be your son. You will love and miss him the rest of your life. You have to go through the grief of it all and for everyone that grief is different. Men and women grieve different as well,we are all different. To me I will forever grieve my son.Time does help though,I promise you that. I never thought so,but a year later I can say that to you. Time heals. I have good days and not so good days. I chose not to celebrate the holidays after we lost him and family and friends were supportive. I did what felt right for me and so did my husband not what someone else thought I should or shoudn't do. Be easy with yourself,you and your family have been through the worst thing a human being can or will ever have to go through. We heard how couples split up after the loss of a child etc, but for us it made us closer. Although my husband was very different then me in the way we expressed our grief,I did not judge him. I knew he was hurting like I was. we were careful not to judge or blame. We will always be his parents and in his honor we have been loving and kind to eachother. This has in fact made us stronger. Another thing is,this changes you in many ways,though at first you do not realize it. In time you see you have changed.You learn a new normal. We did find a local support group and went monthly. From these groups we met other couples and exchanged numbers. We sometimes see eachother outside of group and when any of us needs support we call eachother. Surround yourself with people that will support you. Talk about your son,say his name. It is importnat. I keep my sons life alive in many ways in my life today. I honor and remember him and so do my family and friends. I know it is so hard now. Take it one day at a time. Sending much love to you and your family and thinking of your son. As far as having another baby goes,in time you will know when it's right for you. We are just now ready over a year later,I am 39 years old.
(I was born in Brookln Ny by the way)
Benjamin Spider Reeves born 4-28-2010( 1lb 6oz 26 weeks to severe pre-e and Iugr) we lost you after 4 long months in the NICU. You fought so hard,and were so brave.Our first baby .We miss you everyday and love you forever xo

Expecting ,dreaming, and hoping for our baby Girl sometime in January 2013
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Re: New Loss

Postby S.Jordan444 » Tue Oct 25, 2011 00:02 am

thank you so much for the words. we are so sorry for your loss, right now life makes no sence but hopefully one day it will and god sends us back our lil man. good luck on having another baby.
This Video Is About Our Prince Scottie Jordan Cartagena & Hopefully A Step In The Right Direction On Edcucation Of Preeclampsia. Copy & paste the link let us know what you think.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aR3mVf_yNXk
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Re: New Loss

Postby frogibe » Tue Oct 25, 2011 07:43 pm

I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing a child is devastating as you know. Be kind with yourself and your wife and daughter. Everyone deals with the loss of a child in their own way. My husband and I both grieved very differently after losing our daughter, Kelsie last year. You will always have a aching heart for your son but remember it does get better. You find a new normal for you and your family. For us our normal is that our first born, Kelsie is waiting for us in heaven and I when people ask if I have kids I always reply yes, and, how many, I have two, one on earth and one in heaven. I know you feel broken now but remember your son is and will always be a part of who you are....he is here with you in spirit ( your forever angel, until you meet again). May you find peace:0)
Jennifer(27) Chronic Hypertensive
mommy to Kelsie born 1-10-10 from severe pre-e and HELLP at 28wks.
grew her wings on 2-14-10 due to NEC.
and to Josephine born 8-4-11 at 35wks. due to low amniotic fluid, but PE and HELLP FREE!!!! I kicked PRE-E in the behind!!!!!
Surprise! We are expecting #3 in April 2013
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Re: New Loss

Postby miamibunnie » Thu Oct 27, 2011 10:24 am

As I read...my heart is aching for you and your fam. It reminds me of loosing my baby last yr....wow wow what a pain...we as parents never think that our children will leave before us. But this feeling is normal..it was recent that this all happened. My hubby and needed to go away and we did for 1 week it made it a bit better. About getting preg when the time is right it will happen but you will never forget your son. He will always be with you...god knows what he does and why it happens...after this happened to me it made me a stronger person and it also helped me realize who are the people that really cared about me.

I advice you as a woman your wife is the one grieving the hardest not that your not but when a woman is preg they feel every movement and we form this motherly bond....as I say this Im crying please hug her and tell her that your there for her 100% , be very supportive. I went through a depression and did not speak to anyone, I was full of anger, my hubby was also great but every person is different, he had stopped smoking and started again when this happened.

Im thankful to say that I got preg 7-8 months later and god and my little angel taylor sent me a beautiful baby girl 3 months ago. So have faith and its ok to feel miserable, learnto understand and be an advocate for others....xoxo to your wife and you and your daughter!!
Lisette 37 Hubby 37
Lisette 36 / Luis 36
1996 25 weeker due to Eclampsia with seizures daughter alive today 15 yrs old " Julyzah Caridad"
2010 23 weeker due to severe preeclampsia my angel left us

2011/27/July we beat preeclampsia and made it to 36.5 weeks 6lbs 1oz baby girl "Kendall Lauren " pe-free just bp started acting up.
Thanks to God, my doctor, Lovenox and Lda.
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Re: New Loss

Postby S.Jordan444 » Wed Dec 14, 2011 06:42 pm

This Video Is About Our Prince Scottie Jordan Cartagena & Hopefully A Step In The Right Direction On Edcucation Of Preeclampsia.
Copy & paste the link let us know what you think.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aR3mVf_yNXk
This Video Is About Our Prince Scottie Jordan Cartagena & Hopefully A Step In The Right Direction On Edcucation Of Preeclampsia. Copy & paste the link let us know what you think.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aR3mVf_yNXk
S.Jordan444
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Joined: Sat Oct 22, 2011 05:51 am

Re: New Loss

Postby Angel11611 » Wed Dec 14, 2011 09:10 pm

Hi Scottie,

I am sorry for your loss and I know people say with time it will get better but I dont believe it does it's been over a month for me that I lost my little girl and everyday I ask WHY and have so many unanswered questions. I hope for strength everyday and I have to beleive God would not put me thru the same pain twice.

I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
Mommy to baby girl Angel born 30wks 5 days..Placenta Abruption 11-6-11
Love & miss her dearly!!!
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