Wow. I have barely had time to sit and read this week, but I am so comforted by all the support I've already found here. It makes me feel less bewildered to know that others have gone through this. I wish my mom would come here and read and talk, but she isn't ready, so at least I can bring the info I'm getting here to her as I help her, too. It's tough to know there might not be an answer, and that even if there was, you can't change anything.
My niece is doing great, though! The NICU sent her home yesterday, and while it was really tough to leave the hospital without my sister, it's great not to have to go there any more. I am enjoying the time I can spend with them. I usually live overseas, actually, and so I'm just in town for a couple months tops to help them settle into some kind of routine. It's going to be hard to go home, but I have a house and husband an ocean away and I need to also take care of him and I, too. Right now, I'm just trying to help everyone find a balance between helping my brother in law out and smothering him. And baby books are pretty sexist a lot of the time and act like dad is a footnote, which I don't think gives him the confidence he needs. He can do this, I know it. I just want people to stop acting like he can't.
Anyway, I'll check back as I can, and I will answer my pms when I find the time. I'm kind of everywhere right now and not finding much Internet time. But I'm reading! And I am encouraging my family to join in when they are ready, and relating what I find here when it seems appropriate. Thank you guys so much. You've already helped me a lot. I'm just sorry we met like this. Big hugs.