Anyone go to Grief counseling ?

A place for those bereaved to receive and offer support
heatherbbb
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Re : Anyone go to Grief counseling ?

Postby heatherbbb » Thu Mar 26, 637333 10:25 pm

I went to the SHARE group meetings in my town for about 6 months after losing Seth. They met once a month. I found them full of good information about the grief process and a good release for my emotional grief. My husband attended with me and I believe the meetings opened our communication much more. I only stopped going because I was pregnant and couldn't stand the hearing the possible disasters that could potentially happen in that current pregnancy. I plan to go to our meeting next week since Feb is the year anniversary of Seth's death. I know I will need the support and a place to talk about him and cry. I would highly recommend visiting a grief support group. Also, the counselor there should be able to help each individual decide if they need additional one on one counseling and how to get that help.

Heather (32)
Mother of Seth Russell, delivered 26 weeks due to PE/HELLP 9/3/03-2/13/04
http://members.cox.net/heatherbbb/seth/seth.htm
Due with Joshua Allen -scheduled C-section for 1/18/05. Protein C deficiency & Lupus Anticoagulant (2 Heparin shots/day since 14 weeks) Gestational Diabetes

amillhouse
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Re : Anyone go to Grief counseling ?

Postby amillhouse » Thu Mar 26, 637333 8:28 pm

I have gone to Compassionate Friends, a grief counsellor and a therapist once. All helped in certain ways but NONE have been as helpful as all of you who have been through exactly/similar experiences as me. I say give it a whirl and basically do whatever you have to do to work through this process.

Anika

Mommy to Isaiah Dumisani Millhouse
20 January - 17 February 2004
Born at 28 weeks due to severe pre-eclampsia
Died at 28 days old of pneumonia
610 grams at birth
950 grams at death
My Angel Boy
"My firstborn, I will never forget you, always love you, and never replace you"

sweetiesuzy
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Re : Anyone go to Grief counseling ?

Postby sweetiesuzy » Mon Mar 16, 637333 7:35 am

I could really write a book here but I am going to have to make it brief. My best advice is to really pursue any kind of one on one grief counseling or group counseling. I know from experience with the loss of my father and the loss of my baby if you don't face it and deal with it now it will pop up and rear it's ugly head later in life. Better to deal with the feelings now then later. This is based on my own experience. I wish you all the best with your greif journey. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. And rememeber it is a lot of hard work.

Hugs,
Suzanna

------------------------
Aaryngston ~ 3/25/95
Chloe Rose ~ 10/26/01 Stillbirth
Samuel Isaac ~ 12/30/02
Laura Elise ~ 7/19/04

"Friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have
trouble remembering how to fly"
-Marion Beatty

mel h.
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Re : Anyone go to Grief counseling ?

Postby mel h. » Sun Mar 15, 637333 1:25 am

Jenn, I also wanted to add that you should absolutely feel no shame in turning to alcohol for awhile to numb the pain of losing your child. It's very tempting to want to do something - ANYTHING - to stop the pain. You are a brave woman to have recognized the problem and to have done something about it. My husband has and is battling that same urge ... it's very tough. He's been to counseling a few times and I think it's helped him learn how to cope with the pain.
I've had days where I felt I was going crazy because I was in so much pain and would say and do things uncharacteristic of me normally. I've been irritable and short with people because I look at them and resent them for how perfect and easy their lives seem to be. I know that no one's life is perfect or easy, though. When you're in that much pain, everyone seems to have it better than you do.
I hope this painful, dual struggle with grief and trying to conceive again that you and I and others on these boards are going through is temporary and we can all move on to happier times in our lives soon.
I have an ultrasound today to see if my ovarian cysts have gone away so I can restart the Clomid on
Saturday. Wish me luck.

Melissa
Mom of Ashley Ann, born at 25 weeks on April 17 due to severe preeclampsia.

annes
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Re : Anyone go to Grief counseling ?

Postby annes » Sat Mar 14, 637333 10:32 pm

Jen, I just wanted to commend you on your courage in sharing your struggle with everyone here. I have not lost what you all here have, but the miscarriage I went through in December (14 weeks) is still haunting me quite a bit. I have managed to resist the urge to curl up inside of a bottle, but the urge is there somedays. Thank you for sharing, it helps more than you know.[:I]

Anne
DH Richard
Parker 7/6/03(severe pe)33wks
Miscarriage 12/04

melissam
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Re : Anyone go to Grief counseling ?

Postby melissam » Thu Mar 05, 637333 10:46 am

Thank you all for your posts. I am so glad that I am not going crazy...although sometimes I do still wonder. It hasn't even been 4 weeks since she was born and left us, but it seems like ages ago. The nights are the worst. I am finally going back to Virgina on Sunday. On monday morning I am going to make some calls to find out about some of the grief groups there.

Thank you for your warm sympathies and welcomes. I really appreciate them. Thank you for sharing what you have all gone through. It really has helped me. I am glad that you all are doing as well as you are and I really appreciate your advice and support. It really means alot to me.

Melissa
Mom to:
Riley 2/9/2000 born at 37 weeks due to PE
Kelsi 12/30/2004 - 1/1/2005 (13 oz) born at 24 weeks due to Severe PE and Possibly HELLP

jenndola
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Re : Anyone go to Grief counseling ?

Postby jenndola » Thu Mar 05, 637333 5:20 am

I had been in counseling previous to my loss for depression issues, but after the loss of Maggie, my DH came with me to a few sessions to work through things together. I also went to a lot of sessions by myself. Losing a baby is such an isolating event, and it's so hard to find friends or family who are willing to just sit for an hour and talk about nothing but your loss. Personally, I think there's nothing better than someone who's paid to do nothing but listen to you talk.

My counselor has been a true Godsend in my life--he's even wept with me over the loss of my sweet Maggie. I honestly don't know how I would have gotten through this (or if my marriage would have survived) without him.

Something very personal that I've only shared with one person from the boards, but feel like maybe this is the time--many months after I lost Maggie, I started drinking. Everything just hurt so much, and I didn't know how to get through it, other than to just make everything numb. Now, I didn't spend every day drinking, but when I did go, it was with the full intent of oblitherating everything. It's because of this that I truly understand the value of my therapist (and don't even get me started on my miraculous DH). My therapist stuck by me for reasons other than a paycheck, and finally got me to work through things rather than push them aside until they were so built up that I had to drink myself silly.

Losing Maggie still hurts like *, but now I let myself feel it, and rejoice in her memory. Yes, antidepressants are still a necessity for me, But my counseling is now on an as-needed basis.

I don't know why I felt like this was the time to really share, but hopefully this will help someone out there. It was a really dark time in my life that almost ended my marriage and my life, but now here I am, a few years later, happier than I've ever been, and hoping to try this again.

I'm going to throw in one quick scriptural reference (which I would've kicked to the curb a few years ago). I think even those who might be agnostic can appreciate this one, because it has such a ring of truth for those who have lost. Ecclesiastes 1:18 "For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow."

Jenn
Missed miscarriage/D&C 14 weeks
Angel Maggie stillborn due to HELLP Syndrome & PIH at 19.5 wks
Miscarriage 6 weeks
Self-Proclaimed Antiphospholipid Syndrome (APS) Guru
I'm putting my perinatologist's kids through college!

TTC #4 is a go! Whoo-hoo!

fiona
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Re : Anyone go to Grief counseling ?

Postby fiona » Wed Mar 04, 637333 4:23 am

I was offered counselling through the hospital. I didn't go at first, but six months after Nate's death and on anti-depressants, I figured I might as well try. I think I went three times and found that was enough for me to get rid of an enormous anger that had bubbled up in me - something I needed a complete stranger to listen to. It was such an emotional release - and a physical one; my last session, I ovulated harder than I have my entire life and conceived my son Jay that month. It wasn't something I needed to do long term, but it definitely lifted me out of depression. I was off the pills a couple of weeks later.

I hope you find something that works for you.

Fiona
dh Tom
ds Nate 12/8/97 - 14/8/97 26 weeks severe pre-e IUGR 1lb
ds Jay 4/11/98 30 weeks pre-e 3lbs 11 oz
no 3 due 15/6/05

angelkat
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Re : Anyone go to Grief counseling ?

Postby angelkat » Tue Jan 06, 637333 8:10 am

I never went to counseling and in looking back I'm not sure if it would have helped me. But, looking back it might had helped.

I tend to celebrate Katlyne life rather than dwell on her death. Some call me crazy others just call me plan NUTS. Me, I just say that my way of dealing with grief....

Good luck to you

Hugs
~T
Moderator Grief and Loss
Mommy to
Drew(14)PE 37 wks
Ky (12)PE 34 wks
~i~ Katlyne(12/9/02-04/02/03)25 wks
Casey - 34wks Born 7/29/04
Katlyne's Tribute Site
http://forevernetwork.com/lifestories/l ... ope&Sort=V

gossamer
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Re : Anyone go to Grief counseling ?

Postby gossamer » Mon Jan 05, 637333 11:03 pm

I have gone to individual grief counselling, church counseling and neonatal death support group since my daughter died. They have all helped tremendously. I thouroughly endorse any or all. It helped me to talk with women who had gone through what I did, and to talk to professionals who knew the path grief takes and guide me along. I think they are all hlepful.
Gossamer

"Before you were conceived, I wanted you. Before you were born, I loved you. Before you were a minute old, I would have died for you. This is the miracle of life. " -Maureen Hawkins
Mary Rose 7/29/03 New little angel 10/03/04 http://www.f1.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/zo ... .dir=/f23e


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