The Homecomming

A place for those bereaved to receive and offer support
greyshield
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Posts: 57
Joined: Tue Dec 09, 637338 8:53 pm

Re : The Homecomming

Postby greyshield » Sun May 31, 637339 7:01 pm

Her protection was our next thought after we brought her home. We put her, and her memory box in a fire-proof safe. We then got to thinking that if someone does break into our home, they are usualy looking for things like safes to take thinking it contains sellable valuables. But, for now, it is the only place we have untill we decide where her final resting place should be.

Shannon (26)
dh Tony (25)
baby girl; stillborn 2-28-05 @24 weeks due to cord malformation and PE & HELLP

kimb
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Re : The Homecomming

Postby kimb » Thu May 21, 637339 5:20 am

Sue - I'm glad to hear someone else thought of the safety of their childs ashes! I thought I was just crazy! We had Will cremated as well and shortly thereafter there were some break-ins in my neighborhood and I was panicking that it would be teenagers who would think it would be funny to dump ashes. I remember the first time we went away for a night I too felt as if I were leaving him at home. Still when we go away I always talk to him when we get back and let him know we are home. But having him home with me is comforting - we too have already decided that he will be buried with us when that time comes.

Shannon - I hope you have some comfort having her home. I know there were times when I needed to hold Will's urn and rock him for my comfort. Going to sleep was incredibly difficult for me. I went back to work after three weeks so that started to force to me get to bed earlier- but for the first few weeks my husband was having to force me to bed about 2 am!

Kim 35
William Michael - my angel - pe/HELLP 7/7/03

amillhouse
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Posts: 587
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Re : The Homecomming

Postby amillhouse » Tue Apr 28, 637339 6:50 pm

Just wanted to contribute. We had Isaiah cremated right after the funeral. We currently live in South Africa, but we are Americans. We decided that he must be with us wherever we are in the world, Isaiah will always be with us. So he is on our mantle in a cherub urn with some of his pictures around him. I love having around me in so many ways. I also started his garden two months ago, as some of you know - the corn is six feet tall now and starting to flower!!

Anika

Mommy to Isaiah Dumisani Millhouse
20 January - 17 February 2004
Born at 28 weeks due to severe pre-eclampsia
Died at 28 days old of pneumonia
610 grams at birth
950 grams at death
My Angel Boy
"My firstborn, I will never forget you, always love you, and never replace you"

sjs40
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Posts: 288
Joined: Wed Aug 31, 636727 8:37 pm

Re : The Homecomming

Postby sjs40 » Mon Apr 27, 637339 1:06 am

I agree with Kris that what to do with cremated remains is a very personal thing. We brought Ellie's ashes home and she was in 'her' bedroom for a few weeks. We even got grandad to 'babysit' her while we went on holiday. Eventually we decided we would rather bury her ashes than worry about her safety when we were not at home.We chose a beautiful memorial gardens and we buried her casket ourselves, just the 2 of us with our little girl. She is only 10 miles from our home and we visit with fresh flowers regularly.

Just an aside...both of our cats were cremated the year we lost Ellie. They are one either side of the fireplace!

Sue (41)
Chris (38)
DD Eleanor Susan (Ellie)
born at 27wks severe PE
24 July 03 - 20 August 03

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kdreher
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Re : The Homecomming

Postby kdreher » Sun Apr 26, 637339 5:04 pm

I think for those who have a loved one creamted, what to do with the ashes is a personal thing and some ppl on the outside just may not get it. My coworker lost her husband to a brain tumor about 1 1/2 yrs ago. She laughs because he is in a box at the bottom of their old closet. He fav lab, Bud, lays in there with his shirts while she waits to get his kids together. NO matter what you do, you will not take away the memory. I know even when my dogs pass,they'll get an urn as well.

Shannon, I was on Wellbutrin for a while, not long ago, and I took well to it.

Kris (35) & Tom (35)
Connecticut

My Angel - Tyler 3/9/95 to 3/23/95 (15 oz, 26 wks severe pe/HELLP)
Tubal Ligation 2/2000
Tubal Reversal 10/2004
Miscarriage 1/05



tkstevens@sbcglobal.net

for faith
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Joined: Sat Feb 23, 637022 8:05 pm

Re : The Homecomming

Postby for faith » Fri Apr 17, 637339 12:15 am

My thoughts are with you. Each step does give us pain, but I hope you find peace having her with you.

Jill
mommy to:
Tyler - 4/7/00 (36wks, PIH/PE))
Angel baby - 1/20/03 (11 wks)
Faith Kristine - 1/5/04-1/30/04 (30wks due to severe PE/elevated liver enzymes, passed due to NEC/Sepsis (preemie complications))
OUR LITTLE MIRACLE due 6/5/05 it's a boy!!!!(c-section end of May, but miracle if I make it that far)

trying for #2 to share our lives with since 09/02

timelessbeauty
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Re : The Homecomming

Postby timelessbeauty » Thu Apr 16, 637339 1:08 am

You all might think me too much but I have the ashes of my late husband and my son ... My first husband passed due to heart attack at the age of 23 and he wanted cremation .. with my current husband, we decided to cremate our son because it was all we could afford versus burial. Sometimes I have to laugh at the insanity as it's been said to me I have bookends now. My son is in a cute cherub urn on my dresser with a crocheted preemie hat on him that I made. My late husband is in the garage terrorizing the dogs. LOL My son passed at 24 wks to the day and it was due to PE and HELLP. That was 2.5 yrs ago and you never lose the memory but you learn to cope with the pain. I laugh sometimes to avoid paying more stock into Kleenex brand tissues. I hope to pick out a nice place to have "all" my family when the time comes. We aren't settled to stay in our current residence so when we decide what state we plan to live in, we shall make arrangements. My heart goes out to all those that have experienced loss, it's a process and "closure" doesn't fit what you attain in the end. Love to all who visit this site!

Sue

greyshield
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Posts: 57
Joined: Tue Dec 09, 637338 8:53 pm

Re : The Homecomming

Postby greyshield » Wed Apr 15, 637339 11:13 pm

Wow, that sounds so beautiful...to have her with you when it is your time. We haven't yet decided what we are going to do. It will just be good to have her at home with us.quote:Originally posted by Mel H.

Shannon,
We had our baby girl cremated as well, and we have her ashes in a pretty copper urn inside a memory box with her name engraved on it. It makes me feel better having her at home with us. I feel like she's where she should be, although I certainly never imagined bringing her home in an urn. Our plans are to have her buried with us when our time comes. That way, she'll be with us forever.
Have you considered getting an antidepressant or a mild sleep aid? Sleep deprivation makes depression even worse, so you might think about it.
My emotions are still all over the map sometimes, even nearly a year later. Sometimes you just have such a feeling of unsettled-ness, like you're in some alternate realtity that couldn't possibly be your life. I think that's all part of the grief process, and it will get better over time. Your loss is still so fresh.
I hope you find some peace and closure soon. Take it easy.

Melissa
Mom of Ashley Ann, born at 25 weeks April 17, 2004 due to severe preeclampsia.


Shannon (26)
dh Tony (25)
baby girl; stillborn 2-28-05 @24 weeks due to cord malformation and PE & HELLP

sweetiesuzy
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Posts: 2404
Joined: Mon Oct 12, 636708 4:35 am

Re : The Homecomming

Postby sweetiesuzy » Wed Apr 15, 637339 10:58 pm

Shannon,

I am so glad to hear that she will be home with you. I just got my daughters remains after three years. Now that she is home with us it has helped me so much to find closure I never had.

I hope you continue to heal and find some peace.

Hugs,
Suz

------------------------
Aaryngston ~ 3/25/95
Chloe Rose ~ 10/26/01 Stillbirth
Samuel Isaac ~ 12/30/02
Laura Elise ~ 7/19/04

"Friends are quiet angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have
trouble remembering how to fly"
-Marion Beatty

mel h.
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Posts: 288
Joined: Sun Oct 08, 637037 6:34 pm

Re : The Homecomming

Postby mel h. » Wed Apr 15, 637339 10:07 pm

Shannon,
We had our baby girl cremated as well, and we have her ashes in a pretty copper urn inside a memory box with her name engraved on it. It makes me feel better having her at home with us. I feel like she's where she should be, although I certainly never imagined bringing her home in an urn. Our plans are to have her buried with us when our time comes. That way, she'll be with us forever.
Have you considered getting an antidepressant or a mild sleep aid? Sleep deprivation makes depression even worse, so you might think about it.
My emotions are still all over the map sometimes, even nearly a year later. Sometimes you just have such a feeling of unsettled-ness, like you're in some alternate realtity that couldn't possibly be your life. I think that's all part of the grief process, and it will get better over time. Your loss is still so fresh.
I hope you find some peace and closure soon. Take it easy.

Melissa
Mom of Ashley Ann, born at 25 weeks April 17, 2004 due to severe preeclampsia.


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