What do you all do about Mother's Day?

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Re : What do you all do about Mother's Day?

Postby tinalowe » Sun Aug 12, 637342 4:17 pm

Last year was my first mother's Day after losing Emma. It was one of the hardest days I have gone through since the loss. Just remember as T said, we are all Mothers... nothing can ever take that away from you! *hugs*

Tina 23
DH Dereck 27

Emma Victoria stillborn 12-28-03 severe pre-e

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Re : What do you all do about Mother's Day?

Postby amillhouse » Sun Aug 12, 637342 3:47 pm

Last year was a wash. DH and I didn't communicate well enough - he thought I wanted him to ignore it and I wanted him to acknowledge me though I wasn't sure how. It actually was a point when I really started going down hill. I feel myself taking that turn again and I wonder if it is because M-day is coming and I am not preg again. etc. But thanks for putting this out there, because I am going to make it a point to sit down with DH so we can plan the day together.


Mommy to Isaiah Dumisani Millhouse
20 January - 17 February 2004
Born at 28 weeks due to severe pre-eclampsia
Died at 28 days old of pneumonia
610 grams at birth
950 grams at death
My Angel Boy
"My firstborn, I will never forget you, always love you, and never replace you"

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Re : What do you all do about Mother's Day?

Postby julie f » Thu Aug 02, 637342 7:48 pm

Last year Dh and I told the family that we'd be spending the day on our own. For gifts for all the moms in the family, we made donations to the Foundation in Zach's name. It turned out to be a beautiful day weather-wise so, Dh and I went to Santa Monica and walked around. Then we had a couple of beers and watched the Laker game... not how I ever pictured spending a Mother's Day but, it was just nice to be alone w/Dh and out in the sun for a while...

It was hard and it took all the strength I had to even call my own Mom and wish her a Happy Mother's Day... I got a card in the mail from my Mom and a call from my SIL, other than that, people didn't know what to say so, they didn't say anything...

My prayers are with you, it's unimaginably hard and it's so not fair...

Julie (28)
Zachary James, 7/22/03-7/27/03, born at 26wks - severe pe

Jackson Charles 01/24/05, 36wks 6dys - NO PE!!

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Re : What do you all do about Mother's Day?

Postby kimb » Thu Aug 02, 637342 3:44 am

last year was my first year and I pulled out of the regular brunch - my husband and went for a drive and to the zoo. I have bought cards for my mom and mil - but I'm not going to participate in the brunch again. I have told Mike he can still go to brunch with his mom - but I just can't celebrate it.

Kim 35
William Michael - my angel - pe/HELLP 7/7/03

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Re : What do you all do about Mother's Day?

Postby kdreher » Thu Aug 02, 637342 12:19 am

At some point during the day I allow myself to have a good cry...!
Yes, T, we are all MOTHERS and nothing can change that - even if are babies are no longer with us. I still look forward to spending time with my mom and/or stepmother because they have been there for me through so much. I have a very thoughtful family and have received cards and flowers in days past. This year I will be with my stepmother in PA, due to the walk, and I know she wanted to plan something. It is one of my hard holidays to get through, but somehow I manage.

Kris (35) & Tom (35)
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My Angel - Tyler 3/9/95 to 3/23/95 (15 oz, 26 wks severe pe/HELLP)
Tubal Ligation 2/2000
Tubal Reversal 10/2004
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Re : What do you all do about Mother's Day?

Postby jamilyn » Wed Aug 01, 637342 6:07 pm

I lost my son 3 years ago and Mothers Day is always a hard day for me. Luckily I have an amazing family. Everyone is very sensitive to the loss of my son. My family sends me flowers and gets me a little something from him. They do this for most holidays. Christmas is also a hard time when you've lost a child. I also make sure to get my Mom something from her first grandson. I am going to be having my second son on Wednesday and am worried about how I will react this year, since I'll only have one of my sons here with me. But you always have to remember that your child is watching over you and is always in your heart, you will always be her mother. If you dont want to celebrate mothers day then dont do it, do something that will be special to you. Make sure if you are around other people that understand its a hard day for you. I also made sure to not go out to restaurants for my first mothers day cause I didnt know how I would react or when I would just brake down. I just had a nice dinner at home with my family and went to church, since everyone tends to cry on mothers day at church i didnt look too much out of place.
I know therapy isnt for everyone. But I say a Grief/loss specialist and it helped me a lot.
Good Luck with everything and I hope the day isnt too hard for you.


Moms little angel Dallin 10/9/01-10/16/01 (born at 27 weeks due to severe Eclampsia)
Stratton - EDD 5-1-05

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Re : What do you all do about Mother's Day?

Postby angelkat » Wed Aug 01, 637342 4:37 pm

Shannon- YOU ARE A MOM!... Mothers day is a hard day but please the most important thing to remember you are a mom!.

For us, it will just be another day in our house, as my DH is not even in the same state as I and either one of us can travel that weekend due to other things going on.

My thoughts and prayers are with you....

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Re : What do you all do about Mother's Day?

Postby mel h. » Wed Aug 01, 637342 3:41 pm

Last year was my first Mothers Day after the loss of our daughter in April. Our loss was still so new then that I just focused on my mom and grandma and didn't really think, hey, I am a mother, too. But my mom was really nice to me that day. We went to a restaurant for lunch and they were giving out flowers to all the mothers, and the hostess asked how many mothers in our party and I said 2, and my mom said, no we have 3.
I'm dreading Mothers Day this year, because I should have a nearly 1-year-old little girl by then, and I don't. It's very hard. I'm trying to focus on getting pregnant again and not think so much about our loss, but I'm sure Mothers Day will be a reminder of it all. I hope it's an OK day for you.

Mom of Ashley Ann, born at 25 weeks April 17, 2004 due to severe preeclampsia.

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Re : What do you all do about Mother's Day?

Postby mom2tori » Wed Aug 01, 637342 7:10 am

Mothers Day is a hard day to get through. I don't remember my first Mothers Day that well but I know my mom sent me flowers from my son which was really nice. The past few years my husband has given me something from both of my kids, even though one is in heaven. We really don't too much but I think I handle the day pretty good. It wasn't always this good but I think I have gotten used to some of the emotions and prepare myself for that day pretty good. Even though I don't have my son-I am still his mom and that is something that will never change. I think the hardest Mothers Days for me was the first one and the first one after I had my daughter. I wish you a lot of peace on that day and hope that whatever you choose to do you remember you are a mommy and always will be. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Alissa mommy to:
Dominic 9/10/97-9/11/97 @ 28 weeks
Victoria 1/8/02 @ 30 weeks

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What do you all do about Mother's Day?

Postby greyshield » Wed Aug 01, 637342 6:50 am

I find myself dreading the comming of Mothers Day. It use to be a day to give my mom flowers, a pretty card, go to Sunday brunch, and just all around be nice to my mom. Now, I want to just skip it.
It is still hard to believe I was almost a mother myself. My baby girl would still have been with me by now. I don't feel like 'celebrating' motherhood.
What do you all do? Do people give you cards or flowers? Are they sensitive to your loss? How do you handle the raw emotions?
The closer it gets, I feel myself getting more and more depresed...and that is not me.

Shannon (27)
dh Tony (25)
baby girl; stillborn 2-28-05 @24 weeks: IUGR with 2 vein cord and MTHFR

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