A lesson learned is one to share

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Re : A lesson learned is one to share

Postby lucy » Sat Apr 26, 2008 07:00 pm

Ime so so very sorry for your loss how heartbreaking sending you so many hugs.

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Re : A lesson learned is one to share

Postby annes » Thu Apr 24, 2008 08:29 am

I am so sorry for the loss of your sister, I am glad you had some time with her before she passed. Thank you for sharing your story, reminding us that people in our lives are precious, and fleeting.

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Re : A lesson learned is one to share

Postby Guest » Wed Apr 23, 2008 08:48 pm

Hi there,

I am sorry for your loss and it is true - life is so very, very precious. I am thankful that I have a close-knit family and that I am speaking to dad again (we had a rift several years ago and did not speak for a long time). A person only has one family and one go around.

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Re : A lesson learned is one to share

Postby michelle_chandler » Wed Apr 23, 2008 01:18 pm

So sorry for your loss. (((HUGS)))

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Re : A lesson learned is one to share

Postby summerw77 » Tue Apr 22, 2008 04:00 pm

I'm so sorry about your sister. It was kind of eiry to read as I lost my sister when she was 35 and I was 26. We had just reconnected after 8 years of not speaking over an argument years before.......she had just become a grandma 2 weeks before she passed away to my great niece Lexi. She left behind as a single mom a 16 year old daughter who had just become a single mom herself, and a 15 year old son, my nephew. I took care of them and so did her mom (she was my half sister).

After that happened I felt the same as you, and I tried to reach my dad who I hadn't spoken to since I was 2 years old except once when I was 6, and I picked up the phone and called only to find out he was waiting on a heart transplant and he died a few weeks later.

It really sux when you lose time with people you shouldn't. You are so right, that time can never be given back. I am so sorry for the loss of your sister. It does get easier..........I promise.

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Re : A lesson learned is one to share

Postby emersons mom » Tue Apr 22, 2008 03:40 pm

Thank you for sharing! I can totally relate to the lives not converging family members. May you feel the solace that you gave your sister in saying goodbye!

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Re : A lesson learned is one to share

Postby sarab » Tue Apr 22, 2008 03:12 pm

Lindy, your story has me in tears. Thank you for the precious reminder.

I'm so sorry for the circumstances in which this lesson was learned, and I hope that you find peace in the coming weeks/months/years.


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Re : A lesson learned is one to share

Postby sonja » Tue Apr 22, 2008 02:26 pm

I am so sorry for your loss. Thanks for the reminder to live like it could be our last day.

Peace to you.

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Re : A lesson learned is one to share

Postby jenn » Tue Apr 22, 2008 01:19 pm

Many hugs and lots of love coming your way.
I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of you sister.
Incredibly devastating to say the least.

Your story rings a similar bell with my husbands family.
I completely understand.

my condolences to you and your family.


p.s. I saw your Connor update. Wonderful news! Your truly blessed.

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A lesson learned is one to share

Postby browncow » Tue Apr 22, 2008 12:50 am

My 43 year old sister died on Easter after suffering a brainstem stroke on March 15 and four more strokes and a heart attack by March 17. She was completely paralyzed and left "locked-in," fully aware of what had occurred and was happening around her but unable to communicate except for blinking her eyes.

Hospitals in three states refused to take her, citing no treatment options, imminent organ failure, and that she most likely wouldn't survive transport. My 21 year old nephew was asked on March 19 to consider termination of his mother's life support. She was asked about this repeatedly over three days and responded affirmatively each time.

Our family gathered on Good Friday to say goodbye to one who, by all accounts, should not have been leaving us for at least 40 more years. Pat had no history of health problems, right down to an only 40 minute labor and no stitches when my nephew was born.

Additionally, she became grandmother, excuse me, 'Patticake," to a beautiful baby boy in November, 2007.

The life support was terminated at 4:30 p.m. on March 21 but she hung on until 10:00 p.m. Easter Sunday. Real life endings don't come in five minutes as depicted in Lifetime movies.

We were never particularly close-as different as night and day-and spent very little time together in our adult lives. It wasn't that we disliked one another, rather we assumed separate paths that seldom merged. Seeing her that third week of March was the first time we'd met beyond random phone calls and emails in seven years.

Her fiance's mother tried in vain on Good Friday to get Pat to open her eyes. I then remembered a wallet photo I've carried for twenty + years: it was taken in 1969, was our mother's favorite photo, and as mother put it, "the last time (we) smiled together."

I said its history as I held it up to my sister's face, and she opened her eyes wider than anything I've ever seen. I'll never forget the tears and intensity of her gaze as we remembered that she, being the girlie girl, chose the dresses, and in exchange for cooperation I was promised a Hot Wheels car and she, a Barbie.

We were there, together again, in that April, 1969 moment; healing our past in a present which yielded very limited future. The joy and pain in that very moment will forever haunt me.

We can't regain those last, lost seven years. Prayers, wishes, and tries notwithstanding; it can't happen. Still, if someone, anyone, reading this wants to make a long lost connection but is hesitant: please, just do it. There's nothing to lose if it doesn't work out and everything to gain if it does but you owe it to yourself to try!

I don't get preachy about many things but please, don't think like we did, "oh, we'll get together when we're old, the kids are grown, and no one else cares about us..."

Hearing "you may not have another chance" is one thing and living it is something I wouldn't wish on anyone. Don't wait to take a chance, make it instead.

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