How do you handle comments?

Are you part of the NICU club? Do you have a child who is still struggling with the effects of being born too soon from preeclampsia? Share your concerns and stories here among parents who have been there.
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Re : How do you handle comments?

Postby theartsymom » Mon Apr 28, 2008 10:05 am

I used to tell people," we think she is perfect, just the way she is." that usually ended the conversation.
or "we are thankful for every pound."

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Re : How do you handle comments?

Postby summerw77 » Sun Apr 27, 2008 10:44 pm

What's wrong with she was a preemie? Without the whole story............just a thought!!!!

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Re : How do you handle comments?

Postby kelly1972 » Sun Apr 27, 2008 04:47 pm

I get this question asked all the time. I had one lady actually say are you sure she is xx months. I just want to say Ah yeah I gave birth to her...duh! I have to bite my tongue. It makes me crazy. Nicole is tiny, she's 19 mths and only 20 lbs but tall. When people say she's so tiny I say was even tinier when she was born. Nicole proves the saying Good things come in small packages!

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Re : How do you handle comments?

Postby browncow » Tue Apr 22, 2008 11:36 am

My child is six years old and I STILL can't believe some of the comments made when she was in the throes of preemiedom, for example:

"Don't take Connor outside until she's over a year old, preemies can catch dwarfism, you know."

Don't even get me started on how that is SO wrong on SO many levels, including but not limited to the fact that dwarfism is, gasp, genetic.

And the time when my then ten + month old daughter's skin assumed an orange tint per her appetite for baby food carrots and sweet potatoes:

"Oh my, how often do you put your baby in a tanning bed?"

Seriously, that actually came out of the mouth of a fully grown person. Seriously.

And then the clincher when my one year old, 13 lb. daughter and I went through the Detroit airport:

Strange lady from the plane: "How old is your baby?"

Me: "One year in four days."

SLftP: "Someone should report you for not feeding her."

I didn't even comment. Didn't have to, really, my look presumably spoke volumes.

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Re : How do you handle comments?

Postby marchalice » Sat Apr 19, 2008 00:06 am

My Geni was 3lb 12oz when I took her home after 12 wks in hospital. I took her out when she was 6mnths old and wieghed 5lbs. I took her out of her carrier and had 2 old ladies rush at me because they believed her to be a newborn and were horrified that I was not supporting her neck. I did assure them I was experienced and that shewas able to support her own head for the last 3 months.

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Re : How do you handle comments?

Postby rebeccac » Sat Apr 12, 2008 03:42 pm



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Re : How do you handle comments?

Postby jamie w » Sat Apr 12, 2008 00:00 am

My child was not born early but I am so sick of the question "was she a preemie?" I of course say no and then they look at me like either a.)I am a liar or b.)There is something wrong with my child or c.)I am not feeding her. I will not waste my breath trying to explain to every staranger I meet why my child is small, I shouldn't have to. If somebody weighs 500 lbs do we ask them how they got so fat? I think I will get Anna a tattoo that says "I am normal." Then at least they have something else to talk about...

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Re : How do you handle comments?

Postby sonnet15 » Wed Apr 09, 2008 03:19 pm

We're actually really lucky in that Jack is, while a little smaller than most his age, actually fairly close. His issue is that he hasn't quite caught up with the other kids his age, so while he's doing things at his level, the other kids his age are running around doing the more advanced things. That's when I get the "Oh, how old is he?" And when answered I get the always dreaded... "Oohhhhhhh..." Complete with nod. I hate having to explain that he was busy learning to breath on the Outside while their crazywhirlygig children were still hanging out in their happy placenta bubbles. So I don't. I just smile sweetly and keep on about my business. But I understand about the lack of thick skin, I haven't quite gotten it either.

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Re : How do you handle comments?

Postby rebeccac » Thu Apr 03, 2008 02:51 pm

...or just say "he's aging gracefully"! [:D]

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Re : How do you handle comments?

Postby joannek » Wed Apr 02, 2008 04:31 pm

Yesterday I was out at a couple places, Target, Wal-mart, etc, and I lied about her age for the first time. Usually I don't mind talking about it a little, but maybe because it's still new to me. But at the Target checkout I just didn't have it in me to have the discussion all over again, so I just went with her adjusted age. She's still little enough to pull that off with no weird looks I guess.
But I can see that if she is still small in the coming years, it would become very old, very fast.
Our family has been through alot in the past few months, and I feel like I have been through a crash course on the insensitivity of people.
It seems that anything related to pregnancy or babies is not protected by the same rules of tact and politeness that everything else in the world is. People think it's ok to comment on the size of a pregnant woman and then continue their commentary on the size of the baby, whether it is big or small. Maybe they think that since their comment is about the baby, and the baby can't understand what they are saying, it's ok. I'm not sure.

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