what should I do (probably way TMI)?

Are you considering having another child after preeclampsia? Trying again after preeclampsia can be an emotional challenge. You can find support with others who share your concerns here.
mnmom
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Re : what should I do (probably way TMI)?

Postby mnmom » Mon Aug 11, 2008 08:51 pm

Jana,
I just wanted to share with you that a very close friend of mine was in this exact situation. They chose a donor, who had similar physical traits to her DH. The "book":) they had to choose from was amazing, and had very detailed profiles of the donors, to the point that you really did feel like you knew them. They also have a detailed medical history for him, and his family, although he was only in his late twenties, and his parents were pretty young when he donated. I'm not sure if they continue to update health histody or not....ANYWAY, it was successful on the first try, and her now five year old daughter is wonderful, healthy, and looks just like her daddy- it really is amazing. And, she has the same wonderful personality traits her mommy and daddy do.

neslo
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Re : what should I do (probably way TMI)?

Postby neslo » Mon Aug 11, 2008 10:39 am

Jana - I'm glad you and DH came to a decision and that you have a plan. I really hope that it works out for you!

adgirl
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Re : what should I do (probably way TMI)?

Postby adgirl » Fri Aug 08, 2008 04:37 pm

I would also recommend getting as much medical history as possible on the donor in case it's his sperm that "takes". A good friend of mine is the child of a donor and never cared a bit until she had her own kids. At that point she was only curious about medical history and there really was none. Of course, her donation took place in the 70's, so it may be very different now.

Just my 2 cents now that you've decided which direction to go!

suleaf
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Re : what should I do (probably way TMI)?

Postby suleaf » Fri Aug 08, 2008 04:26 pm

Thank you Jana.... I think of all you too.... and hope this happens for all of us. I'm so glad you made a decision and I understand what you mean when you say you want to know the donor's heart. That's interesting to learn about the IUI and how it works. I am wishing you the BEST possible luck this month- I'm glad you have a plan and are moving forward- I know how much it means just to have that at least. So definitely yes, BFP vibes!

jana m
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Re : what should I do (probably way TMI)?

Postby jana m » Fri Aug 08, 2008 04:01 pm

I just want to add that I hope this next month is a good one for all of us. Niki, Su, Donna, Sheri and everyone else trying so freakin' hard to get pregnant. I know that some of us might succeed and others might not, but we have to remember to lean on each other for better or for worse.

~~~~~~~~~~~~BFP VIBES, BFP VIBES, BFP VIBES, BFP VIBES, BFP VIBES, BFP VIBES~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

jana m
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Re : what should I do (probably way TMI)?

Postby jana m » Fri Aug 08, 2008 03:42 pm

As usual, you guys are the greatest.

We are going to go ahead with the donor, but we will also use DH's swimmers too. The embryologist who made all of our kids happened to be in the RE's office when I was talking to the nurse. She said DH could come in the day before the scheduled IUI and give a sample. They would wash it and keep it in the incubator overnight. The day of the IUI, DH will give another fresh sample (embryologist said concentration will be a little lower, but not too bad) so that we will have two batches of DH for the IUI. We will use that along with the donor. Apparently this is a common thing to do.

So we'll nix the clomid/IUI and start injectables with my next cycle. Then we will just hope for the best. We have already started shopping for a donor. It's funny, but difficult. I'm not so concerned with physical characteristics, but really want to know whether or not donor has a kind heart, is a good person, etc. and this is info I might never know.

You are all so great for supporting me! The adventure continues...........

timelessbeauty
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Re : what should I do (probably way TMI)?

Postby timelessbeauty » Fri Aug 08, 2008 11:46 am

I wouldn't presume to know what decision you should make. Just can let you know you have a lot of support and friendship around willing to back you up 100% no matter what you do. A very loving and wonderful family is what I know and read. I echo the hugs ((((Jana)))))

aundapenner
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Re : what should I do (probably way TMI)?

Postby aundapenner » Fri Aug 08, 2008 08:52 am

Wow. Heather J said it beautifully.

Whatever you both decide, I'm here for you. (((hugs)))

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heather j
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Re : what should I do (probably way TMI)?

Postby heather j » Thu Aug 07, 2008 10:04 pm

jana,

Your husband is the kind of man that little boys need to show them how to be men and little girls need to show them what kind of man they need to wait for; Xander is a lucky little dude to grow up with such strong, amazingly beautiful people for his mama and dad. I wish with everything there was something I/we could do to make this easier for you; you deserve easy -- you both do.

((((Jana))))

suleaf
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Re : what should I do (probably way TMI)?

Postby suleaf » Thu Aug 07, 2008 08:56 pm

Oh Jana I am so sorry to hear this. I think it's wonderful your husband wants to do the donor- and I agree in my humble purely personal opinion- I would do that. No matter what, I think you have some hard choices- and I so feel for your DH- it cannot be easy to hear that. And you're right- the sum total of a man is not his test results but his heart and soul and his support of you and his caring shows that he is the best kind of man. I wish you luck and all my support!


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