Mother's Day coming up and I'm feeling sad

[iralu1]

Thank you Angie and KeriSue. We are going to visit Nia at the cemetery today. Today is hard but I'm still glad I was a mother even if for a short while. I think all the moms out there who have experienced loss probably feel the same. My life is forever changed having known and loved little Nia.

[kerisue]

I'm so sorry that you aren't getting to hold Nia, today of all days.

[angieb]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

The early days and first year especially are so so hard, especially the holidays and stuff like Mother's day. I remember feeling like I would never be normal again. And it's true, in a sense, my normal is definitely much different then it was before we lost our daughter, and different compared to my friends who haven't lost a child, but I've grown eventually into a new normal, it's not ever the same as it was before our loss, but it's pretty darn comfortable and a lot more happy than I ever imagined was possible with a bit of bittersweetness mixed in.

Hang in there.

[iralu1]

My coworker sent out an early Happy Mother's Day to everyone. It made me feel sad because Mother's Day is a celebration of life and love, only we got to experience it for too short a time. I know my baby knew she was loved while she was here and the love I feel for her is strong and forever. She's just not here for me to share it with her and it feels like a piece of me is missing. I don't know if I'll ever feel "normal" again. I do my job at work but without the same care or enthusiasm as before. I'm getting by while other people are happy. It's a surreal feeling, like sleepwalking.