May 28, 2020 By Latiara Jackson
When I found out I was pregnant I was overwhelmed with a mixture of emotions at first, but after talking to my mama she made me feel like I can conquer this whole motherhood thing. I was scared to announce it because I wanted to get pass the 1st trimester first. Then when I finally made it past my 1st trimester I just didn’t want any other outside energy to throw me or my baby off. I was very protective over my pregnancy I was meditating every day and speaking positive affirmations over my baby daily. I started doing yoga and being careful of who I was around or what I allowed myself to say in regards to my pregnancy. In the back of my mind I was scared as hell thinkin I was going to lose my baby.
At 15 weeks I was at an dr appointment and was diagnosed with chronic hypertension. I was put on blood pressure medication to help keep it down but over the next weeks it kept spiking up. On January 12th I was admitted into the hospital to be monitored for my blood pressure and given a higher dosage of meds. I stayed for 4 days then was sent home. I was back to my normal routine and on January 21st I had a bad headache and my pressure went up to 193/116. I got up and took myself to the hospital in the middle of the night and when I got there they ran a million test and told me I would be staying.
At this point, I didn’t know what was going on until the doctors came in 2 hours later and told me that I had preeclampsia. I only knew so little about it at the time, but I knew it was serious. The doctors sat in my face and told me that it was best to terminate my pregnancy. No questions asked just that termination would be best since I'm only 20 weeks pregnant and wouldn't make it further in my pregnancy. I called my mama and broke down so bad I could barely talk but some how she knew exactly what to say to me. My grandma left work and was right there by my side. I felt so weak and helpless but once I talked to family and close friends I had more strength. That day I told myself to just stay strong.
The doctors came back in the next day asking if I was going to terminate. I told them no that's not a option. From that day forward it was the scariest days of my life. That first week they would come in 3x a day trying to convince or “recommend” that I deliver my baby early because I was only going to get worse and that she may not make it. Everyday I had to tell doctors no I don’t wanna kill my baby no I’m not delivering her this early knowing she won’t survive. This was only week 1. I spent 5 weeks in the hospital crying every single day I’ve never felt so weak in my life. When I made it to 23 weeks my blood pressure started to rise even more and I was put on fluids to avoid having a seizures and had to monitored closely for strokes. By this time the doctors told me I wasn’t going to make it past the weekend without ending up in the ICU on a IV drip. I kindly told them to get the fuck out my now new home with that energy. Safe to say I made it pass that weekend and to week 24.
I began to feel better emotionally because after 25 weeks babies survival rate increases. So In my mind we were good. This was by far the worse week of them all during my 24 week of pregnancy. My body began to shutdown. My blood platelets dropped really low, I went into liver failure then my kidney began to fail. I got a Doppler scan and now oxygen had stopped flowing to my baby Legacy and she had already been diagnosed with interurine growth restriction because my placenta wasn’t giving her enough nutrients. At this point she was too small to survive a vaginal delivery and with my platelets being so low. They didn’t want to cut me open because I could bleed-out on the table.
By Friday February 7th I was exactly 25 weeks and made the decision to deliver since she was now at risk. I was scared but very calm that day my family and friends called and prayed over us and was there once we got out of surgery. We made it!
Im pregnant right now but last year i had hellp syndrome and preeclampsia too my baby died inside of me because of the seizure