On Saturday, February 10, I went to the hospital with severely swollen feet and elevated blood pressure. I was 19 weeks, 3 days. I had no history of high blood pressure before pregnancy or thus far during pregnancy except for an isolated elevated reading at my 18 week scan. Upon admittance to the hospital, doctors immediately put me on BP meds, but my BP remained elevated. Over the days, they increased the dosage, added a second medication, and changed dosage times throughout the day. But still, my BP remained in severe ranges. By Thursday, the hospital transferred me by ambulance to another hospital to be seen by the high risk Maternal Fetal Medicine group daily (they were already partnering with the first hospital's doctors, but at this point I needed their constant care). I was now 20 weeks pregnant, and officially being diagnosed with severe early onset preeclampsia. I had a headache so severe that day that no medicine would relieve the pain – a warning sign in preE for stroke or seizure. I was so swollen I had gained nearly 10 pounds in 2 days from fluid retention, which also made it where I could barely move or walk. By Friday, my breathing was labored. By Saturday, protein levels were more than 10x normal limits (they had been 2x normal upon arrival to the hospital the week before). I was maxed out on 2 different BP medications, but still registering BP in severe ranges. At this point, our team of doctors told us I could not continue in this condition. Risks of organ damage/failure, stroke, seizure and worse were too high. We had to deliver our baby to save my life. Surreal is an understatement. Feelings of guilt, blame, helplessness all swallowed me whole. Our lives changed instantly from preparing for our son’s birth to grieving and preparing for his death. We began going through the motions. I was still ignoring how sick I really was, and in fact I still do that. I have to remind myself daily of the facts of my illness, and that I did fight as long and hard as I possibly could. And that it was NOT my fault. There is so much more to learn about this awful disease. We must continue to share to help research predict, prevent, and prevail over preeclampsia!