My pregnancy was tough. I was vomiting on a regular basis from acid reflux and had to use crutches due to severe PGP. I remember my baby moving less and less as time went on. I kept going back to the hospital and asking them to check my baby over. Each time I was instructed it was fine to go home.

I went to a routine appointment with my midwife by week 37 and she found protein in my urine and elevated blood pressure. This raised no concerns with her and she sent me home.

My baby did measure big during the last few weeks so I had to attend regular growth scans at the hospital. On my last growth scan at 38 weeks my baby hadn’t grown whatsoever. Nurses on the day instructed me to wait to be seen by a doctor. My heart sank.

After a while of waiting a doctor saw me. He explained my baby had “static growth restriction” and with the decreased movements it was advised I go for a c section in a couple of days.

Panic set in. I felt sick to my stomach. I started to get what I thought was a huge migraine - flashing lights, blurred vision and a headache. I had to get one steroid shot for my c section on that day, and one the following day.

When I came back the following day I still had a headache with blurred vision. I had my steroid shot and gave a urine sample. It came back with protein in it. The nurse then managed to get a blood sample from my hand and took my blood pressure - 160/100. I was admitted into hospital and given labetalol on regular intervals. My blood pressure kept reading over 160/100. I was briefly told I had preeclampsia. I had no idea what that was at the time. I was also told I would be first on the list for a c section the following day.

C section day came. I had the spinal and laid back. I was so nervous, my blood pressure was now 200/100. I felt completely dissociated.

They delivered my son at 10:23, noting he was covered in meconium. They took him to the corner of the room to dry him off and noted his APGAR score was 4. What happened next was a huge shock. I couldn’t see him but a loud alarm rang. I could see people rushing past me. The nurse next to me informed me my son had turned blue and stopped breathing. According to my notes he had to be resuscitated several times. His oxygen levels didn’t improve very much and his temperature was low. He was also grunting. Next thing I knew he was being taken away.

I was transferred to recovery and given paracetamol. My blood pressure was still high. After a few hours I was discharged back to the ward. I was desperate to know if my son was well or not. My husband had gone to neonatal so I had no clue what was going on, I was just told to rest. I was in a lot of pain from the c section.

After I got some feeling back I went in a wheelchair to neonatal. I finally saw my son at last. He was in an incubator with a feeding tube through his nose and had an IV in his hand. I asked if I could hold him and was told no because he needed to be on oxygen. I put my hand through the incubator and held his for a while. I felt faint (i also had anemia) so I was instructed to return back to bed and rest. I did make visits to him throughout the night when I could. I didn’t sleep well at all.

The next few days were a blur but he was finally allowed to be in my arms.

After a week we were both released and sent home.

I was very quickly diagnosed post-partum depression by a psychiatrist. I would later develop post-partum psychosis. I believe this was made worse due preeclampsia. I did not manage to bond with my son straight away due to his resuscitation.

I’m not in anyway saying I had it bad, as I know a lot more women have and have had it worse - but my preeclampsia still haunts my dreams. Even now as my son is healthy and thriving.