6 years later I am still trying to untangle the web of where the healthcare system failed me. During my pregnancy, I was at constant conflict to "just be a patient, don't be the nurse". I lost my voice, I did not question or advocate for myself when the red flags kept raising. Why should I question, when those I trusted with my care could provide every reason why my lab values were off, even in the face of glaring severe hypertension. I vividly remember every time my nervous system kept alarming this is not right, but I stayed silent and trusted. I was sent home after 24 hour observation, as all of my symptoms were correlated to other etiologies, other than the glaring truth of having preeclampsia with severe features. I came back to the hospital 3 days later, severe nausea, vomiting, shoulder pain, and excruciating epigastric pain. I am fortunate both my child and I survived HELLP and preeclampsia with severe features. What is unfortunate, is I will always carry with me the grief of what should have been. I share this part of my story, because as a nurse, even I was fallible to believing those directing my care knew best and I should not question anything. I lost my voice, the one part of patient care that should be the loudest.