I will never forget when I began to notice unusual swelling in my hands. I was 38 years old, 33 weeks pregnant. My husband and I were at brunch and I looked down at my hands and noticed they were really swollen. Something in my gut told me to be alarmed, that this was more than just pregnancy swelling. A few days later at my appointment, I found out I had gained 7 lbs in a week. My doctor sent me for some tests and met with a specialist who told me to take my blood pressure daily and I did a 24 hour urine. I monitored my blood pressure for the next 3 weeks and at my 36 week appointment, there was protein in my urine. My doctor immediately sent me to labor and delivery to be induced. I was nervous, but I was relieved that I was 36 weeks pregnant and was just concerned about having a healthy delivery for my baby. I kept thinking that once the baby was delivered, I would be fine.

The induction began and the nurses put me on magnesium and padded the bed in case I had a seizure. I remember feeling like I had the flu and was in a fog from the magnesium. My doctor was amazing and checked on me nearly every hour. The next morning after running blood work and seeing my numbers getting worse, we were told I would get an emergency c-section. I was scared, but again was focused on having the baby. My son, Andrew, was born weighing 4 lbs 5 ounces. Thankfully, he was healthy and did not have to go to the NICU, which I am forever grateful for. Unfortunately, I continued to decline. I was sent back to labor and delivery to be monitored. I continued to be on magnesium and don't remember a lot of my first 24 hours with my son. They took blood every few hours, and they monitored my urine output. I remained there for 2 days before I was stable enough to move to postpartum. I remained in the hospital for a week, since I developed HELLP Syndrome, which I had never even heard of. My medical team was amazing. They kept us informed, but kept me calm. I don't think I really understood how bad things were until the last day I was in the hospital. The nurse who took care of me my first night came back to see me. She told me she was so relieved to see me and had left the hospital worried about me.

What I learned after reading so many stories about preeclampsia and HELLP Syndrome, is that many moms like me, were focused on having a healthy baby, and didn't fully understand how even after delivery, you can decline and delivery doesn't guarantee a healthy outcome for mom. I went home and had to monitor my blood pressure for weeks, and my doctor saw me once a week. I was so grateful for my doctor who I believe saved my life. He knew what to look for and took my symptoms seriously. I never felt dismissed, and I know that is unusual. So many women are dismissed with their symptoms.

Without a doubt, I was traumatized from this experience. Going back to the hospital and doctor after I had my son triggered fear and sadness in me. I would cry every time I walked in the hospital. I felt cheated out of my birth experience and that I was so sick after delivery that I couldn't enjoy the miracle of my son, who I had waited my whole life to have. I blamed myself for getting sick. I wondered if I had done something wrong, or if it was my fault because I was over 35 years old. It impacted my decision whether to have another baby. I was so scared of getting sick again, but thankfully, I did not. I met with my doctor before I was pregnant the second time and we talked through my fears. I took low dose aspirin every day. I was monitored closely and took my blood pressure daily. I had a scheduled c-section with my second son at 38 weeks. My blood pressure went up slightly postpartum, andI took blood pressure medicine for 6 weeks, but have not had any problems in the 6 years since I had my second son.

Preeclampsia and HELLP Syndrome changed my life. I feel a sacred obligation to raise awareness about these conditions. I am grateful I can do so.