It just started with a headache. I didn’t feel right but couldn’t quite put my finger on why. My legs had been swollen for weeks - that was normal now. I could hear my pulse in my ear - also normal at this point. I had been to the doctor several times and it was confirmed that I had gestational hypertension, so many of my uncomfortable feelings were now normal. But the headache…it just wouldn’t go away. I was days away from my scheduled induction but something just didn’t feel right and we decided to go to the hospital. They gave me the work up but everything was normal. Blood test, urine catch, baby’s vitals and activity…all good. I spent hours in that triage room trying to decide if my headache had gotten better. It waxed and waned. The staff asked me how I felt every 20-30 minutes for hours but after a final, noncommittal “I don’t know”, I was induced.

The healthcare team was amazing. They made sure I was informed through every step. I spent 26 hours laboring and 4 of those hours were spent pushing which ultimately resulted in failure to progress. We made the decision that a c-section would be best for me and the baby to keep everything moving forward safely.

The process involved so many challenges. My BP was through the roof and I was nauseated and vomiting. The conversion of my epidural to a spinal block failed and I had to be put under general anesthesia and intubated. Though I had no idea, my baby was unresponsive when he came out with an initial APGAR score of 2. I spent 6 days in the hospital dealing with recovery and started to show signs of HELLP Syndrome. My vision was blurry for my entire hospital stay. My BP didn’t go back to normal so hypertension would be part of postpartum experience. My baby was jaundice and had to be in an isolette. He also struggled with gaining weight and actually lost 11% of his weight throughout that hospital stay. The thought that maybe I had, in some way, caused this experience for me and my baby was debilitating and it made me feel like a failure as a woman and as a mother. Did I really force this traumatic experience and cause my baby to have a preterm delivery all because of a headache I wasn’t even sure I still had? There wasn’t any other evidence that I needed to be induced right away and the guilt from that was HEAVY.

After talking with my doctor, I learned that preeclampsia had caused my internal organs to swell. I was just a short time away from organ failure and likely wouldn’t have made it to my induction date without major complications.

Fast forward 4 years and we are thriving. My boy is happy and healthy. He is a typical toddler and, aside from needing speech therapy, you wouldn’t be able to tell that he was born premature. After some time, my health returned. My BP is within a healthy range without medication and I get regular bloodwork to keep an eye on everything. I’m grateful that I listened to my body that day and I’m grateful that my healthcare team knew how to care for me when I didn’t know how to care for myself. Preeclampsia is different for everyone. You don’t always have all the signs and symptoms. I didn’t. It just started with a headache.