I was diagnosed at 33 weeks with preeclampsia. I had no symptoms that were related to preeclampsia at all. There was protein in my urine once around 22 weeks but they were not concerned as my blood pressure readings were all normal. I was being seen by midwives strictly and when no one was available I was seen by the doctor and she took multiple blood pressure readings and there was more protein in my urine, blood pressure was slightly elevated but nothing crazy they didn’t diagnose me then but sent me home with a blood pressure cuff. I started having extreme anxiety after that and ended up in L&D that same day. I was having arm numbness and vision changes so they called a code stroke while I was there. I’ve never seen so many doctors around me in one room poking me in both arms touching me and trying to get me to converse at the same time. I’m thankful for one midwife that was there with me the whole time to make sure I stayed calm. They sent me home as I was fine. I went for an ultrasound a few weeks later to get the babies growth done again as he was measuring small and I told the doctor my blood pressure readings from that morning. She looked at me with shock and had me admitted to L&D. The midwife on call there asked me if I would do the steroid injections to help the baby I agreed. Next time she came back after all my labs and told me I needed to have my baby tonight. I was concerned, stressed and anxious. We didn’t have everything together I had just come to the appointment from work I was feeling a lot. My husband left work and came right to the hospital they put me on a magnesium drip and stated my induction. I can’t even explain the feeling from that magnesium I had wished I felt labor pains instead of that, it was like fire running though my veins, burning from the inside out. My labor was not progressing at all so I had to sign papers to get a c-section. The anesthesiologist assured me everything would be fine and she would give me a local epidural. I was scared and asked her if it would be cold in the room since I run pretty cool and she said I will have the shakes a lot most likely. As they rolled me into that OR I didn’t feel an ounce of coldness I didn’t even have any shakes. I remember feeling peaceful yet extremely scared as I’ve never been through anything like this let alone have surgery. I could hear some of the doctors and nurses freaking out and rushing I just remember them saying there’s no time we have to put her under now. I was put under anesthesia and woke up maybe 5 hours later. I was sent to the ICU and they told me I had HELLP syndrome. I had to get a palette transfusion while there. Then I had to get head CT scan as they were concerned for stroke. I got to meet my baby about 9 hours after he was born. I was extremely weak needed oxygen and got another blood transfusion My baby was perfect he was healthy and did not need the NICU he was 4 pounds 4 ounces. I was in the hospital for 8 days I could not go home as I had severe bruising from the surgery the doctors had never seen such bruising and my labs were not normal so they kept me. I could barley move on my own I had to get sponge baths and catheters and use a bed pan. I’ve never felt more uncomfortable and in pain. The pain was immense but slowly day by day I got better the nurses were amazing and everyone in that L&D knew who I was. All I felt was anger and sadness I felt robbed of one of the most beautiful experiences, robbed of hearing my babies first cry, robbed of that skin to skin golden hour, just completely robbed. When we finally got home I felt useless like I couldn’t take care of my own baby. My mother and sister stuck around for the first week as I was in so much pain I could not even pick my son up. It’s still hard for me to even talk about my experience. Now he’s 5 months and doing amazing and I am so much better but everyday I can’t help but think about it and what I wished I could’ve experienced.Im lucky to be here and grateful.