TLDR: Today is World Preeclampsia Day, I developed HELLP syndrome, had a traumatic birth, now I'm dealing with PTSD from it.

Today is World Preeclampsia Day, so figured now was a good time to share my story. When I was 35 weeks pregnant, I developed HELLP syndrome. HELLP syndrome is considered a severe form of preeclampsia that can end in serious illness or death in 25% of cases if left untreated or treated too conservatively. HELLP stands for Hemolysis, Elevated Liver enzymes, Low Platelets. HELLP syndrome has no known prevention and is difficult to predict who will develop it. 

At 35 weeks I started having abdominal pain. I initially wrote it off as the normal discomfort of pregnancy after working a couple of rough shifts. After 5 days, I could no longer ignore it and went to labor and delivery to be evaluated. I never had symptoms of preeclampsia (high blood pressure, headache, swelling). My only symptoms were 5 days of worsening abdominal pain and 2 days of not being able to eat. I arrived to the hospital at midnight on 3/18. They put me on the fetal monitor and after an hour said "baby looks good, it's probably just indigestion." I was sent home without any lab work. My pain continued to worsen through the night and at 7 AM I got a call from the doctor saying to come back to the hospital, we better do some lab work just to be safe. They put me back on the fetal monitor and by then I had started contracting every 2-5 minutes. My labs showed platelets 27 (critically low) and liver enzymes >800 (critically high-the highest this doctor had seen). My liver was trying to rupture. I was given a steroid shot for Luke's lung development, started on a magnesium drip, and sent to [a different hospital] in case Luke needed NICU after delivery. At [that hospital] I was given 3 units of platelets and prepped for a C-section under general anesthesia. I wasn't able to get spinal anesthesia due to my low platelet count. Kyle wasn't able to be in the room due me being put to sleep for my C-section, as well as concern for possible further complications during the procedure. Neither of us got to hear Luke's first cry. Kyle was left in the PACU and for 45 minutes didn't know if me and Luke were going to be OK. I was taken to the OR and tilted on my left side for the procedure. This made my abdominal pain so much worse. I was crying out as they were trying to induce the anesthesia. They were telling me to take slow deep breaths, but I was hyperventilating from the pain. Your mental state before going under anesthesia can affect how you come out of it, and I was in a complete panic. I have nightmares and flashbacks from this specific moment. 

Luke was delivered within 1 minute of general anesthesia being induced. He required CPAP for the first 10 minutes of life due to the general anesthesia, but was then able to be on room air. He required no NICU time! My labs immediately started to normalize after delivery. Luke needed to come out! I had to stay on the magnesium drip for another 24 hours after delivery. This made me feel so rotten. I wasn't allowed to be alone with my baby. The medication made me so weak that I couldn't even hold a fork to feed myself, I was constantly drifting off to sleep, and my brain was so foggy that I could hardly think. I don't remember a lot about the first couple days of Luke's life. 

Once I was off the magnesium drip, I was able to process what had happened the last couple days. Everything happened so fast. I cried all day. The nurses didn't know what to do with me. They just asked if I was in pain and I didn't have the words yet to say that I'm just now starting to process this very traumatic event. My C-section recovery was nothing compared to the abdominal pain I had been feeling prior to delivery. I'm still recovering from the emotional trauma and PTSD that this birth left me with. Birth trauma deserves more than "at least you and baby are healthy" I am working to move past this traumatic event and I am grateful that Luke and