Last year, my first Mother’s Day was not what I pictured. I spent it in the hospital recovering from postpartum preeclampsia.
I thought that since my baby was here, the threat was over. It wasn’t.

I was monitored for preeclampsia from 37 weeks until I gave birth. I never had markers for preeclampsia, although I did have some symptoms, and I was induced on my due date with only some mild hypertension.

So how did I know it was postpartum preeclampsia?

I didn’t.

The days after birth, I went into a fog. I barely remember my first week postpartum. I have a few scattered memories, but I really only remember coming home from the hospital that second time.

The sundown scaries hit hard. I developed an insane headache that I thought was caffeine withdrawal. My feet blew up and I could only wear my husband’s Crocs. I ignored it because I was so busy worrying about our son.

My husband stepped in and forced me to take my BP because he had listened to my midwife when she warned him to keep an eye on me.

I was consistently in the 150s/105s range and it got worse in the ER.

I am so thankful my midwife made me schedule a 1 week postpartum appointment because my blood pressure was a little high on my due date. At that appointment, the OB immediately sent me to the ER.

I kind of remember this exchange, but I later found in my chart notes that the OB hospitalist wrote she was “relieved” because I told her, “I feel like a brand new person,” when I woke up after that 3-day nightmare and had come down off the mag drip.

The effects were lasting in ways I never expected. I even developed a “halo” around my hair from that period of stress on my body, when my blood vessels were constricted and I lost pigment in my hair.

I don’t like to think about what would have happened if I continued to ignore it. Matter of fact, I was diagnosed with Acute Stress Disorder at 3 months postpartum because I was afraid I would die somehow and my baby wouldn’t have a mom. I was terrified to leave the house.
This year feels like my first “real” Mother’s Day. Not because I wasn’t already a mom last year, but because this year I get to celebrate from a place of healing instead of survival.