(For Part One of this story, please click here)

We finally arrive at the ER at UNC hospital and I was fully expecting to wait a long while at the waiting area, but thankfully that was not the case. The nurses took my blood pressure and it was extremely high, around 176/110 according to my records. I remember being in a wheelchair and moved to a room where I was told to put on a hospital gown. I threw up in the bathroom that was adjacent to the room and everything felt as if it was spinning. I go back into this room where my husband was and he helped me tighten the hospital gown up. I laid on the hospital bed in the room and we started playing Wordle. My husband was asking me to help him with this game to keep my mind off of what was happening. I felt so brain dead. I couldn’t come up with any words and it felt so frustrating.…as if my brain was just not able to process anything at this point. I remember telling him I felt useless. My husband was sitting to my left of the hospital bed while we were waiting and then he starts asking me what was wrong. I didn’t know what he was referring to. I was later told by him that I began twitching my left arm and then I told him I was scared. At this point I apparently went into a full blown grand mal seizure. My husband saw me rip out my IV, blood pooled all around me, my eyes drew into the back of my head, and my mouth began to foam. I am not aware of any of this happening to me, thankfully. 

The next thing I knew I woke up in an operating room. I believe a doctor spoke to me when they saw I was awake to tell me I was about to have a C-section as that was the only way I would feel better and it was the best thing for our baby, Jack. I remember my husband Mike having a hair net on and being there with me sitting up by my head. He just kept reassuring me that everything would be ok. I love him so much for always being there for me and supporting me.  At some point the anesthesiologist gave me an epidural and I was laughing telling him that I thought it was less painful than everyone made it out to be. I think the doctors there were having a ball with me in my delirious state as I was trying to be funny even though I was panicking on the inside. The next thing I knew the C-section was starting and my body was being rocked back and forth. Even though I could not feel any pain, I could see myself moving in many directions from the waist down. There was a lot of tension in the air as the doctors performed the miracle of saving my life along with baby Jack’s life. Jack was eventually retrieved from my body after two different cuts across my abdomen were done. My husband and I were so scared because when Jack came, he did not cry. He looked so purple. I had gotten a quick glimpse of him after he was born and rushed to the table where they take care of the infants in the OR. There was no happy “here’s your son” or “let’s bring him by you to have skin on skin time”… the doctors were trying to make sure Jack was alive. My husband recalls them trying to resuscitate Jack multiple times and finally he let out a tiny cry and the relief in the room was overpowering. My husband let me know that once Jack was breathing the doctors asked him if he wanted to follow Jack to the NICU or stay with me and he chose to stay with me as I was not in the clear yet and he did not want to leave my side.

The hours following Jack’s delivery were a blur to me thanks to the magnesium being administered to keep the seizures at bay. I had a wonderful staff of nurses who took care of me and I just kept thanking them for everything they were doing to keep me healthy. I was not aware of the gravity of the situation and what I had gone through yet. It was not until 48 hours later that my husband took me to meet my son for the first time in the NICU. I remember feeling really guilty about not seeing him yet, but there was nothing I could do as I was hooked up to magnesium and an IV for those 2 days. My husband was the most amazing partner I could have asked for during this time. He did not say anything to me to make me worried, and anything I needed, I got. I don’t know how he handled this situation with such a calm mind, but I did hear his side of this story later on and thankfully he had our family and friends texting and calling him to make sure he was also ok. The team of doctors who saved my life and Jack’s life came to see me every morning to see how I was recovering. After a few days, the doctors finally mentioned to my husband and I that we really needed to go see a therapist as there was a huge concern for PTSD. I didn’t realize how bad this situation was until I heard them say we may have PTSD. That’s when I realized that I could have died. My son could have died. I would have never seen my husband again and I would not have known that my life was over on March 17th. 

Meeting Jack for the first time was an incredible experience. So many emotions filled my heart when my husband and I made the trek from the women’s labor and delivery floor of UNC hospital to the NICU. I had to walk holding onto the wheelchair because my legs weren’t able to support me yet. I was happy to be up and moving a little, at least. When we got to Jack’s station at the NICU, I couldn’t believe that little tiny human was ours. He was 3 pounds 8.8 ounces - tiny but mighty. Jack needed a CPAP machine the first day after birth to help with breathing issues, but after that, he was over the CPAP and the nurses took it off. He was a fighter from the start of his birth. He stayed in the NICU from March 17th to April 10th. Day by day, he would fight to grow bigger, stronger, and develop the skills he needed to graduate the NICU. We are so proud of him for getting through this experience. He has no lingering health problems from his delivery, and for this, we are so incredibly grateful.

It is painful to relive this story for me and my family. This situation was so unexpected for all of us, but through it, we grew as humans. There is not a day that goes by that I do not think that today is a gift. It is so scary to me that I almost died on March 17th, that Jack almost died, too. I can tell you that when everything was happening to me in the blur of anxiety, chaos, being rushed around by nurses and doctors, when I could think of something all I could think about was love. Love is the only important thing in life. I did not think about the stresses of life – like work, bills, whether someone likes me or not, what my grades were in school, what kind of car I’m driving, our socioeconomic status – all of these trivial things we need to function as a human did not matter in that moment. The fear I had that I wasn’t ok and that I didn’t know if I was ever going to be ok again and that I just wanted to feel better and be with my husband was all I could think of. This experience has changed me forever. I see people around me getting upset about random things in their life and I feel for them. I just want to give everyone the ability to see that life is more than our problems. We need to live in a state of gratitude while we still have time left. I used to hear that every day is a gift and I never really internalized that message until this day. Before March 17th, I was scared of becoming a mom. I didn’t really like kids, honestly, I avoided them most of my life. I didn’t know what an amazing experience being a mom would be and I certainly didn’t know that my first interaction with Jack would be to save his life by going to the hospital when I did.  I’m so thankful that I get to be a mom to baby Jack and that I get to share this experience with my husband every day. No matter how tough the days get with a newborn, I am just grateful we are both here to go through these struggles together as a family. 

I’d like to end this story by saying thank you to my husband for his strength and support during my pregnancy and beyond. His help and encouragement got me through the most difficult time in my life and has created a catalyst for me to become an even better version of myself. I am excited to experience parenthood with him and see how much stronger our relationship grows from this experience. I would also like to thank my mother-in-law for her support during this time. She was able to get us to the hospital quickly, let our relatives and friends know what was happening to Jack and I, and then took me to see Jack at the NICU daily during his stay. I’d also like to say thank you to our extended family and friends for their continued support as we navigate this new life with baby Jack. Finally, a gracious and huge thank you to the staff at the UNC Women’s Hospital for everything they did for Jack and I to keep us alive and healthy. To say I am thankful to the doctors and is an understatement. I do not know how to say thank you to these people so I am doing everything I can to give back to the hospital and to help research efforts for preeclampsia, eclampsia, and HELLP syndrome.