Before pregnancy, I had no prior health issues, which made everything that happened feel even more shocking. My preeclampsia began without the symptoms people usually talk about. I had no warning signs at first, but protein was found in my urine, and from that moment, my entire pregnancy changed.

I was admitted to the hospital and ended up staying for 36 days. For over a month, I lived in a hospital room feeling physically sick and emotionally trapped. I was constantly throwing up, exhausted, and overwhelmed by the feeling of being stuck in one place for so long. What was supposed to be the final stretch of preparing for my baby became days filled with fear, medications, and uncertainty.

To keep things stable, I was on nine blood pressure pills a day plus blood thinners, and I had to receive the magnesium drip twice. The condition became so severe that it even caused the left side of my heart to swell. Mentally and physically, it was the hardest thing I have ever gone through.

At 33 weeks, after 13 hours of labor, I gave birth naturally to my daughter, who weighed 2 pounds, 14 ounces. One of the most surreal and traumatic parts of my delivery was that she came out holding my placenta, which then had to be manually removed. It’s an image and moment I will never forget.

After birth, my daughter stayed in the NICU for 3 weeks, adding another layer of fear and heartbreak to an already traumatic experience. Instead of bringing my baby straight home and soaking in those first moments together, I was navigating recovery while watching her fight in the NICU.

I also grieve all the milestones I missed while simply trying to survive. I missed my 30th birthday, maternity photos, and my baby shower. Those moments can never be replaced, and I still mourn the pregnancy experience I thought I would have.

Preeclampsia changed my body, my birth story, and the way I experienced motherhood before it even began. Even now, I am still grieving the joy-filled pregnancy I imagined, while also honoring the strength it took to survive it.