I was lucky enough to get pregnant with my son within a week at age 39. Things were going fairly well for a few weeks but three months in I had some bleeding. They told me that my placenta was low lying but we never really got a definitive answer. At 33 weeks I felt like he wasn't moving enough. I went to the doctor and was told my blood pressure was high. A few days later I returned for a blood pressure check and sure enough I got admitted for preeclampsia. I did not have typical symptoms. In fact I lost 8 pounds in one week at this point which I think is odd though no one else did! I had some protein in my urine and I had had frequent headaches throughout the entire pregnancy but I am a headache person before an after this pregnancy so I didn't give it much thought. I was hospitalized at this point and eventually released on many meds and monitoring my own pressure and of course on bedrest. At 35 weeks I was induced and gave birth to my son with an epidural via a typical delivery.

Having been scared of giving birth my whole life I have to say this was the easiest part! My son was born 3 lbs. 6 oz. so his growth was definitely restricted due to my condition. He spent 4 weeks in the NICU and despite some developmental delays current day and a mild autism spectrum diagnosis which we don't know whether that's related to the prematurity, he's doing well. Right after delivery I had to have a DNC because my placenta I believe fell apart not quite sure what happened there.

Later that evening I began to have pain in my upper right quadrant while in the maternity ward alone. I called for the nurse and I think she thought I was being a difficult new mom! She gave me some gas X. I had no reference point for this pain and it certainly did not feel like gas but I wasn't sure what else to do. After two hours or so of this pain I demanded to see my doctor. I have to say that throughout this entire experience with many appointments my medical team was stellar. Unfortunately this one nurse wasn't proactive but I will give her the benefit of the doubt. All that to say my doctor came and gave me bloodwork and I had extreme HELLP syndrome. They gave me Tylenol for the pain, monitored me closely, and the next day I had a CAT scan. My husband was with me but also spending time of course in the nicu with our son so it was quite difficult. Within 48 hours I miraculously came out of a very dangerous situation by waiting and seeing. Besides the Tylenol I was not given any medication at this point.

Three weeks later while still in the nicu with my son I began to notice that my speech sounded slurred. Later that evening my nose and chin went numb. My maternal fetal medicine MD insisted on an MRI the following day. When we got the results back I entered bizarro world. The HELLP syndrome had caused a subdural hematoma which is bleeding outside of the brain. The stroke like symptoms were actually the blood clearing up but nevertheless was very scary. This coincided with my son being discharged from the Nicu, a moment we had been waiting for since his birth. However they put me on steroids which made me extremely anxious and now my husband and I were tasked with adjusting to life with our beautiful son at home with me on edge, and on steroids. Subsequent MRIs in the following six months proved that my brain looked normal. However as you can imagine this was a harrowing experience.

Due to my age I got pregnant the following winter which I know might sound odd considering all that I just shared. I had a missed miscarriage in 2017 at around eight weeks. We finally came to terms with the fact that although we wanted a larger family we were grateful for what we had. Then January 2021 at age 44 I got pregnant again. It felt like a miracle because the odds of me getting pregnant on my own at that age were quite low. At 3 months in the moment that I found out that she was a girl, I also found out that we lost her due to Edwards syndrome.